The Spectacle… Continued.
After sputtering back and forth about nonsensical issues, the Court Clerk entered the room. Mr. Bad Attorney and I strategically chose where to sit, so we would be the first in line. It may be the most reasonable decision the man has made throughout this dispute. When the Clerk announced her presence, we both leapt to our feet. It was a good thing we did this, for behind us, a lengthy line formed.
We proceeded to the Clerk and announced our presence. This seemingly easy announcement took quite some time, for the Clerk could not grasp the fact that I was one of the Respondents to the matter, not an Attorney.
Once I persuaded her that I was a party (with the helpful coaxing of Mr. Bad – let’s face it: he was relishing the fact that I had to repeat that I am not an attorney) we announced that we were both agreeable to an adjournment of the matter (an adjournment is court-speak for a rain-check; a re-calendaring to a later date). He Clerk asked us if we had attended a pre-trial conference with the Judge. We both answered in the negative.
At this point, I began to get excited. Not only would a pre-trial conference waste more of Mr. Horrible Attorney’s time, but it was a chance to begin to persuade the judge that this was an abuse of process, and that they have no case. Furthermore, when the Judge finds out that they refused to go to mediation, he would be upset, neigh, furious. This is a good thing.
Mr. Outrageously Sub-Par Attorney wanted to set the case for Pre-Trial the very next week. I told him that it would be too soon. When he inquired why, I responded that I needed to reassess the house. He turned to me and asked, “And, how do you think you are going to get inside?”
“Your client is going to let me in,” I responded.
“No, he is not,” he said hastily.
“Are you really going to make me get a court order?” I said, impishly. “Because, if I need to, I will.”
He looked at my smug display of joy, as this occurred in front of the clerk.
“That won’t be necessary.” He responded.
“Good.”
We selected a future date and walked out next to each other.
I looked at the senile man’s forlorn demeanor with a callous disregard. As we walked out of the elevator to part ways, I turned to him with a self-serving zeal and left him with a parting gift.
“You best bring you’re ‘A-Game.’”
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Part I: The Spectacle Ensued - August 28, 2008
When I told roommate that Mr. Bad Attorney had not been in court, I was guessing. When she told me that my guess was correct, she actually knew. Mr. Bad Attorney apparently told her at the first court appearance that this was the fact of the matter.
I had my first face-to-face meeting with him in court. I liken him to Senile Professor. He is far beyond his prime, has not been in court in years, is not up-to-date with the law, is outside his normal area of practice, and is in far over his head. The hole that man has dug himself and his client is dazzling. It is like looking at a horribly disfigured person: it churns your stomach to stare, but, for some reason, you cannot divert your eyes. As my father said, “this poor guy has no idea what is coming.” I think he is too old to know. Poor guy.
Our quiet side conversation in the court room went from unnoticed to the main event. As people poured in (mostly attorneys) they would chat, bringing the room to a quiet roar. As time progressed, the roar digressed to a soft hum, then to silence. As it turns out, I was not the only person paying attention to the horribly disfigured; our conversation was drawing the attentive stares of the courtroom. When I noticed this phenomenon, I decided to enjoy the moment (which turned into 15 to 20 minutes). I began speaking louder with each sentence. I wanted other people to witness the ensuing spectacle; I had to appease my crowd. I made sure the conversation was heard by all.
When he first approached me, I knew I was in the driver’s seat. My roommate made the appearance at the previous hearing and had a fun conversation about me with him. From what she told me, Mr. Bad Attorney admires me; she also told me that he was a little scared of me as I looked the dragon in the eyes and stared him down to a lizard (proverbially, of course). My knowledge of his probable demeanor in my presence was confirmed by his demeanor in my presence. The man was deferential.
He started out by asking me if I had seen the email with the “receipts” attached. (I used the quote strategically.) I told him that I had seen the email, but that a scanned copy of the poorly copied receipts was not going to suffice. He told me that he had hard copies on him and asked if I would like to sit down.
Before I continue, it is necessary to be informed of my latest and greatest thought process: this man is working on this case pro-bono. Every hour he spends working on this case is a billable hour he and his firm loses. Those who have worked in a law firm will attest that each member of a firm, from first-year associate to name partner are expected to bill clients a certain number of hours each week. The number of hours varies, but there is still a requirement nonetheless. If you are not able to bill the clients the requisite hours during the week, you either do not make as much or must work on the weekends to make it up. Now, back to the story…
I happily agreed to waste more of his time. We sat down in the gallery and began to chat. I am not going to reveal our case theories and thoughts (that will be after the trial – yes, I said trial – has concluded) but I will say this, everything they do has a problem. After he handed me the files, our grotesque conversation began.
Now that it is known that Roommate and I want to waste as much of Mr. Bad Attorney’s time as possible, I sought to invoke some of these time-wasting measures. Take mediation for example. We are not going to pay anything, and they want everything. Mediation probably will not work. But, it is a good way to waste some time.
I asked Mr. Bad to agree to a mediation. He told me that mediation would cost money. I told him that trial would cost him time, which equates to even more money. I was informed, by Mr. Bad, who hasn’t had client contact in years, nonetheless mediation, that mediation would not work. I told him that statistically, a great portion of cases settle in mediation, and there is a reason for that. He said that it would not work because Roommate and I did not want to pay anything. I told him that, however true that statement may be, mediation tends to bring a neutral voice into the picture. I relayed to him that I did not expect the mediator to come back with nothing as a number, but I did expect the mediator to breathe some reality into the conflict, especially for his client. He reiterated that it would not work because of our zero dollar figure. I repeated myself.
At this time, there was a hush in the courtroom. Noticing this, I became much louder. “I have already told you twice, I do not expect the mediator to tell us to settle for nothing. The word settle implies something higher than zero. I do expect the mediator to give you and your client a slice of reality. You have no case, and I think you know that.”
He quickly got off that topic and asked me why I won’t make his client an offer. I said that I am positive that we will win because state laws, state regulations and decades of caselaw that reflect our case with eerily similar facts all say that we should and will win. Mr. Bad Attorney then told a joke: “I do not think this is a caselaw case,” he began. “This is a facts case.” Chuckling noticeably, I questioned him as to what case in the world is decided where the law did not matter.
Senile? Perhaps.
He continued to explain to me that his client will testify, then Roommate and I will testify. Then the judge will decide who he believes. I must have had a smug grin on my face as I told him he was crazy to think that we weren’t going to call witnesses to testify on our behalf. Insert planned second time wasting element here: deposition.
“I need your witness list so that I can depose your witnesses,” he said.
“Don’t worry, I will give you the witness list in the required amount of time,” I retorted.
Goal two: success.
I then told him that this is ludicrous.
More tomorrow. To Be Continued…
I had my first face-to-face meeting with him in court. I liken him to Senile Professor. He is far beyond his prime, has not been in court in years, is not up-to-date with the law, is outside his normal area of practice, and is in far over his head. The hole that man has dug himself and his client is dazzling. It is like looking at a horribly disfigured person: it churns your stomach to stare, but, for some reason, you cannot divert your eyes. As my father said, “this poor guy has no idea what is coming.” I think he is too old to know. Poor guy.
Our quiet side conversation in the court room went from unnoticed to the main event. As people poured in (mostly attorneys) they would chat, bringing the room to a quiet roar. As time progressed, the roar digressed to a soft hum, then to silence. As it turns out, I was not the only person paying attention to the horribly disfigured; our conversation was drawing the attentive stares of the courtroom. When I noticed this phenomenon, I decided to enjoy the moment (which turned into 15 to 20 minutes). I began speaking louder with each sentence. I wanted other people to witness the ensuing spectacle; I had to appease my crowd. I made sure the conversation was heard by all.
When he first approached me, I knew I was in the driver’s seat. My roommate made the appearance at the previous hearing and had a fun conversation about me with him. From what she told me, Mr. Bad Attorney admires me; she also told me that he was a little scared of me as I looked the dragon in the eyes and stared him down to a lizard (proverbially, of course). My knowledge of his probable demeanor in my presence was confirmed by his demeanor in my presence. The man was deferential.
He started out by asking me if I had seen the email with the “receipts” attached. (I used the quote strategically.) I told him that I had seen the email, but that a scanned copy of the poorly copied receipts was not going to suffice. He told me that he had hard copies on him and asked if I would like to sit down.
Before I continue, it is necessary to be informed of my latest and greatest thought process: this man is working on this case pro-bono. Every hour he spends working on this case is a billable hour he and his firm loses. Those who have worked in a law firm will attest that each member of a firm, from first-year associate to name partner are expected to bill clients a certain number of hours each week. The number of hours varies, but there is still a requirement nonetheless. If you are not able to bill the clients the requisite hours during the week, you either do not make as much or must work on the weekends to make it up. Now, back to the story…
I happily agreed to waste more of his time. We sat down in the gallery and began to chat. I am not going to reveal our case theories and thoughts (that will be after the trial – yes, I said trial – has concluded) but I will say this, everything they do has a problem. After he handed me the files, our grotesque conversation began.
Now that it is known that Roommate and I want to waste as much of Mr. Bad Attorney’s time as possible, I sought to invoke some of these time-wasting measures. Take mediation for example. We are not going to pay anything, and they want everything. Mediation probably will not work. But, it is a good way to waste some time.
I asked Mr. Bad to agree to a mediation. He told me that mediation would cost money. I told him that trial would cost him time, which equates to even more money. I was informed, by Mr. Bad, who hasn’t had client contact in years, nonetheless mediation, that mediation would not work. I told him that statistically, a great portion of cases settle in mediation, and there is a reason for that. He said that it would not work because Roommate and I did not want to pay anything. I told him that, however true that statement may be, mediation tends to bring a neutral voice into the picture. I relayed to him that I did not expect the mediator to come back with nothing as a number, but I did expect the mediator to breathe some reality into the conflict, especially for his client. He reiterated that it would not work because of our zero dollar figure. I repeated myself.
At this time, there was a hush in the courtroom. Noticing this, I became much louder. “I have already told you twice, I do not expect the mediator to tell us to settle for nothing. The word settle implies something higher than zero. I do expect the mediator to give you and your client a slice of reality. You have no case, and I think you know that.”
He quickly got off that topic and asked me why I won’t make his client an offer. I said that I am positive that we will win because state laws, state regulations and decades of caselaw that reflect our case with eerily similar facts all say that we should and will win. Mr. Bad Attorney then told a joke: “I do not think this is a caselaw case,” he began. “This is a facts case.” Chuckling noticeably, I questioned him as to what case in the world is decided where the law did not matter.
Senile? Perhaps.
He continued to explain to me that his client will testify, then Roommate and I will testify. Then the judge will decide who he believes. I must have had a smug grin on my face as I told him he was crazy to think that we weren’t going to call witnesses to testify on our behalf. Insert planned second time wasting element here: deposition.
“I need your witness list so that I can depose your witnesses,” he said.
“Don’t worry, I will give you the witness list in the required amount of time,” I retorted.
Goal two: success.
I then told him that this is ludicrous.
More tomorrow. To Be Continued…
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Summer Clerkship Journal Entry
Working at the Public Defender has definitely been a great eye-opener for me. Having clerked for a District Attorney previously, I thought I knew what to expect this summer, but I was very wrong.
My Supervisor has been quick to assign me very hands-on and practical work, in every sense of the word. She has told me that her goal is to have me understand exactly what it is like to be a Public Defender. As a result, I have authored and had submitted to the court multiple motions, done extensive witness and client interviews, interacted with several judges and done some investigative work. I have also become the point-person for false confessions and LAPD interrogation procedures because of my work.
I have really begun to like the atmosphere, even though the Public Defenders are packed two-to-a-room (while DA’s enjoy their own office), because everybody in the office loves what they do. As a result, the environment is welcoming and the work is more interesting. Even the clerks are loving every minute of the day.
My Work So Far, In A Nutshell:
- Two Pitchess (prior police conduct discovery) Motions Authored and Submitted to the Court
- Research and Growing Knowledge of Police (LAPD specifically) Interview Tactics and Techniques
- Increasing Familiarity with False Confessions (and interaction with Expert Witnesses)
- Client Counseling and Interviewing
- Witness Interviewing
- Increasing Familiarity with Preliminary Criminal Hearings and Outcomes (Specifically: Deferred Entries of Judgment and Prop 36)
- Becoming Familiar with the Outlay and Content of Police Reports and Evidence
Now That I Know - August 19, 2008
This semester is going to be rough. My inability to deny myself the opportunity to do just about anything is going to catch up to me.
In the spring, I was elected to head up the largest student organization on campus. I thought the position just a spot on the map of my year, but it has turned out to be so much more. After attending a conference a few weeks ago, I was given a challenge. Inasmuch as I am goal-oriented, I tend to rise to challenges with far more fervor. At this conference, I was approached by an alumnae of my school, who held my position many years ago. This person "told" me about her success, and the lasting chapter recruitment record of 155 new members. I of course aim for 156.
I was also deemed worthy enough to take over the Law School newspaper as Editor-in-Chief.
As if these extracurriculars were not enough, I was selected for membership on a Law Journal. As anybody who has served as a staff member on these publications will attest: my life is over.
Now, let's discuss my classes (yes, I am actually enrolled in courses). I have three four-unit classes, one three-unit class and one unit for the Journal class.
Family Law, Evidence, Criminal Procedure and Constitutional Law will run my life for the next few months. There will surely be some great stories this semester.
Today marks the point in time in which I have experienced each of my new classes for the first time. Sadly, I have no idea where the classes will take me and how much I will like them. So: not much to report just yet.
Did I mention my clerkship?
In the spring, I was elected to head up the largest student organization on campus. I thought the position just a spot on the map of my year, but it has turned out to be so much more. After attending a conference a few weeks ago, I was given a challenge. Inasmuch as I am goal-oriented, I tend to rise to challenges with far more fervor. At this conference, I was approached by an alumnae of my school, who held my position many years ago. This person "told" me about her success, and the lasting chapter recruitment record of 155 new members. I of course aim for 156.
I was also deemed worthy enough to take over the Law School newspaper as Editor-in-Chief.
As if these extracurriculars were not enough, I was selected for membership on a Law Journal. As anybody who has served as a staff member on these publications will attest: my life is over.
Now, let's discuss my classes (yes, I am actually enrolled in courses). I have three four-unit classes, one three-unit class and one unit for the Journal class.
Family Law, Evidence, Criminal Procedure and Constitutional Law will run my life for the next few months. There will surely be some great stories this semester.
Today marks the point in time in which I have experienced each of my new classes for the first time. Sadly, I have no idea where the classes will take me and how much I will like them. So: not much to report just yet.
Did I mention my clerkship?
Monday, August 18, 2008
Back In The Battle, Again - August 18, 2008
This year is going to be stressful. Perhaps, it is like the first year, but this time I know what I am doing (which is to say: I am not doing things like I did the year prior). There are a great many things to say, do, and update. I have no idea where to start, but to say: I am far too busy to be saying, doing or updating today.
Everything will have to wait until tomorrow.
Everything will have to wait until tomorrow.
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